Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Fun with instant messaging
In which V. encounters The Man Himself in Yahoo Religion Chat. Visual aids presented for your enjoyment.

Before we begin, note that I've removed my Yahoo screen name from the following transcript and replaced it with "me". I've left my victim's name intact. Enjoy.

williamcosby02: Hello.

Me: Hello.

williamcosby02: how are you?

Me: I'm okay.

williamcosby02: gr8
williamcosby02: i am william cosby by name
williamcosby02: n u?

Me: Seriously?
Me: You're Bill Cosby?
Me: That's awesome.

williamcosby02: how do you mean?

Me: Never mind.

williamcosby02: so may i know your name pls?
williamcosby02: and your asl?

Me: Oh, just call me (screen name).

williamcosby02: if you dont mind

Me: So what's your favorite kind of pudding?

williamcosby02: i am from the uk
williamcosby02: are you married?

Me: No, I'm not.
Me: About the pudding, though.
Me: Do you get it for free? Or at a discount?
Me: Or do you even like pudding at all?

williamcosby02: no i dont
williamcosby02: are you married (screen name)?

Me: I already told you, no I'm not.

williamcosby02: k
williamcosby02: can you see any pic on display?

Me: What, you mean like Picture Pages?

williamcosby02: yeah
williamcosby02: aren't you seein any photo?

Me: I used to watch Picture Pages all the time when I was a kid.
Me: You had that pen that played music.

williamcosby02: yeah i did

Me: I can't believe you don't like pudding, though.
Me: It's like, my whole world view is shattered.

williamcosby02: sorry i must tell you the truth
williamcosby02: but i donno wat cha mean by pudding?

Me: You aren't Bill Cosby, are you.

williamcosby02: is it a game?
williamcosby02: or wat?
williamcosby02: not at all

Me: Maybe you ARE Bill Cosby but you have amnesia.

williamcosby02: i am william cosby

Me: Or you've blocked out the memories of all those years of selling pudding.
Me: Like a bad dream. It never happened.
Me: Not to YOU.

williamcosby02: ok

Me: So what was it like being on television?

williamcosby02: it all dipend?
williamcosby02: though its fun anyway

Me: You wore all those sweaters. Back in the day.
Me: Or have you blocked that out too?

williamcosby02: sure i did
williamcosby02: n still do
williamcosby02: stuffs like turtle neck no so on

Me: Brilliant.
Me: Hey, weren't you in a movie?
Me: Leonard Part 6? Was that it?

williamcosby02: oh!
williamcosby02: not at allllllll

Me: Yeah, I don't blame you. I'd deny it too.

williamcosby02: i have never fitured in a movie

Me: That movie was awful.
Me: No worries, mate. I'll play along.
Me: I understand now. You call yourself William to make it easier to pretend these things never happened.
Me: Bill Cosby is dead to you now.

williamcosby02: but thats my name

Me: I know, you have some inner conflict.
Me: You are Bill Cosby, and yet you hate Bill Cosby.
Me: That's got to be tough.

williamcosby02: you so funny
williamcosby02: wat do you do?

Me: Me? Oh, I'm insignificant compared to the likes of you.

williamcosby02: really?

Me: Now now, don't be so modest, Bill.

williamcosby02: you still call me bill?
williamcosby02: am will

Me: Oh! I'm so sorry.

williamcosby02: n not bill
williamcosby02: ok?

Me: You're right. Bill is dead to us both. I respect your pain.
Me: William Cosby it is.

williamcosby02: yeah