In which V. encounters The Man Himself in Yahoo Religion Chat. Visual aids presented for your enjoyment.
Before we begin, note that I've removed my Yahoo screen name from the following transcript and replaced it with "me". I've left my victim's name intact. Enjoy.
williamcosby02: how are you?
Me: I'm okay.
williamcosby02: gr8 williamcosby02: i am william cosby by name williamcosby02: n u?
Me: Seriously? Me: You're Bill Cosby? Me: That's awesome.
williamcosby02: how do you mean?
Me: Never mind.
williamcosby02: so may i know your name pls? williamcosby02: and your asl?
Me: Oh, just call me (screen name).
williamcosby02: if you dont mind
Me: So what's your favorite kind of pudding?
williamcosby02: i am from the uk williamcosby02: are you married?
Me: No, I'm not. Me: About the pudding, though. Me: Do you get it for free? Or at a discount? Me: Or do you even like pudding at all?
williamcosby02: no i dont williamcosby02: are you married (screen name)?
Me: I already told you, no I'm not.
williamcosby02: k williamcosby02: can you see any pic on display?
Me: What, you mean like Picture Pages?
williamcosby02: yeah williamcosby02: aren't you seein any photo?
Me: I used to watch Picture Pages all the time when I was a kid. Me: You had that pen that played music.
williamcosby02: yeah i did
Me: I can't believe you don't like pudding, though. Me: It's like, my whole world view is shattered.
williamcosby02: sorry i must tell you the truth williamcosby02: but i donno wat cha mean by pudding?
Me: You aren't Bill Cosby, are you.
williamcosby02: is it a game? williamcosby02: or wat? williamcosby02: not at all
Me: Maybe you ARE Bill Cosby but you have amnesia.
williamcosby02: i am william cosby
Me: Or you've blocked out the memories of all those years of selling pudding. Me: Like a bad dream. It never happened. Me: Not to YOU.
Me: So what was it like being on television?
williamcosby02: it all dipend? williamcosby02: though its fun anyway
Me: You wore all those sweaters. Back in the day. Me: Or have you blocked that out too?
williamcosby02: sure i did williamcosby02: n still do williamcosby02: stuffs like turtle neck no so on
Me: Brilliant. Me: Hey, weren't you in a movie? Me: Leonard Part 6? Was that it?
williamcosby02: oh! williamcosby02: not at allllllll
Me: Yeah, I don't blame you. I'd deny it too.
williamcosby02: i have never fitured in a movie
Me: That movie was awful. Me: No worries, mate. I'll play along. Me: I understand now. You call yourself William to make it easier to pretend these things never happened. Me: Bill Cosby is dead to you now.
williamcosby02: but thats my name
Me: I know, you have some inner conflict. Me: You are Bill Cosby, and yet you hate Bill Cosby. Me: That's got to be tough.
williamcosby02: you so funny williamcosby02: wat do you do?
Me: Me? Oh, I'm insignificant compared to the likes of you.
Me: Now now, don't be so modest, Bill.
williamcosby02: you still call me bill? williamcosby02: am will
Me: Oh! I'm so sorry.
williamcosby02: n not bill williamcosby02: ok?
Me: You're right. Bill is dead to us both. I respect your pain. Me: William Cosby it is.