Supposedly Owen Wilson has a "sober companion" who follows him around all the time to make sure he stays on the wagon. The sober companion gets $750 a day. Supposedly. Which begs the question...

Dudes, where can I sign up for this? Sober is my middle name. In the interest of keeping the market competitive, I am willing to offer reduced rates. Let's say... $500 a day. I'M A BARGAIN, PEOPLE. A FRIGGING BARGAIN.

Here is a musical interlude which is sort of related to the topic at hand. But mainly, it's posted because I heard it on the radio today and was reminded how awesome it is. Almost as awesome as getting paid mad cash to be a sober companion. Word.