Note to the person who lost their free pass to the cinema on the sidewalk outside the place where I got my takeaway lunch:
Dude, I'm sorry you lost your movie pass. That's harsh. But I promise to give it a good home. A more deserving person couldn't have found it. Honest.Note to local motorists:
I swear, only three people know how to f*ing drive in this town. And I'm two of them.Note to the crackwhore who stepped out in front of my car as I was taking the shortcut to the mall that goes through the ghetto:
One of these days, you're going to walk out in front of someone who doesn't slam on their brakes. And the world will be one dead crackwhore closer to world peace.Note to self:
Stop taking that ghetto shortcut to the mall. Just go the long way. Fewer crackwhores.