In which V fills out one of those survey thingies that someone emailed her this morning.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"...identity as Bruce Wayne. Batman's gloves are also customized with an intergral..."
(from The Batman Handbook. I am so transparent.)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch?
A bottle of contact lens solution. This is stupid.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Oh, oh. It was awesome. "Crimes That Shook The World" or something like that on the Discovery Channel. It was all about the real-life serial killer case that inspired the film Wolf Creek.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
Uh, 1:30?

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
Uh, 1:27. This is stupid. Who writes this shit?

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
THE BEATING OF MY OWN MORTAL HEART OMG!!11!1

7. When did you last step outside ? What were you doing?
Er, about two hours ago. I returned some videos...

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I LOOKED INTO THE EMPTINESS OF MY OWN SOUL OMG. I think this is the biggest waste of time I've ever seen. But I'm still filling it out, and I'm going to post it to my blog, so what does that say about me?

9. What are you wearing?
A clown suit, roller skates, and a battered sombrero.

10. Did you dream last night?
Not that I can recall.

11. When did you last laugh?
I have no need for laughter, puny mortal!! Um, I mean, last night whilst watching My Name Is Earl.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Paint. AND THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Apart from Britney Spears' vagina?

14. What do you think of this quiz?
Very little.

15. What is the last film you saw?
Underworld Evolution.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
The Batmobile. And Mars. And maybe an ab-roller.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
No.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would it be?
Everyone would have to wear MC Hammer pants all the time.

19. Do you like to dance?
No. No, I don't.

20. George Bush
Technically this isn't a question.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Hortense

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Also Hortense.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Duh?

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Help yourself to as many MC Hammer pants as you like.