Thursday, August 24, 2006
Motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane
In which V has been pressured by friends to review the movie of the year. Nay, the movie of the decade. OF THE DECADE, PEOPLE.

Firstly, many apologies for my sad lack of blogging. It's kind of difficult to blog about pop culture when you suddenly find yourself in a country with a completely new set of pop culture. I've been tempted on several occasions to write something about Eastenders, but who would get it? So I mean, yeah. Posting is probably going to be sparse until October when I'm back in the states. But you'll deal with it.

That said, there's still plenty of stuff that has cultural resonance in both England and America, and I'll write about that stuff as it comes along. Which brings me to Snakes on a Plane, possibly the most awesome film of the century.

Firstly, you have the title. Snakes on a Plane. Puts it right out there. You totally know the score before you've even seen the trailer. By now everyone knows about the massive internet campaign, and how Samuel L Jackson kept them from changing the title, and how fans suggested rewrites that actually got added in, etc etc. The title kind of separates the fans from the haters right away. Either you get it, and you totally want to see Snakes on a Plane, or you think it's the lamest thing you've ever heard of.

Naturally I thought it was an awesome concept. M however was convinced that it was going to suck ass, and it took a fair amount of begging and pleading for me to convince him to see it. Friends, I am happy to report that M had a change of heart. He liked the film, and went so far as to say it was at least as good as Die Hard.

I'll second this. Die Hard is truly a great American classic, and Snakes on a Plane was at least as good as Die Hard.

I don't really have to get into the plot, do I? I mean, the film is called Snakes on a Plane. There are snakes on a plane. There's a decent plot set-up that explains WHY the snakes are on the plane, and WHO put the snakes on the plane. I won't spoil that for you. In a nutshell, shortly into this flight, the snakes are released into the cabin. Just about any scenario you could imagine about a snake being on a plane is in there. Snakes in air-sick bags. Snakes crawling up dresses. A couple of hippies go into the bathroom to smoke some pot and join the mile-high club... really, do I have to remind y'all of the rule about having sex and/or doing drugs in a horror film?

Also: snakes bite someone on the ass, and he proceeds to shout "MY ASS! MY ASS!" for the rest of the film. They bite someone's eyeball. Someone has a newborn baby on board, thus guaranteeing some peril and cries of "my baby! My baby! Help my baby!" This is CLASSIC.

Samuel L Jackson is in TOP FORM. Eventually he has had it with these motherfucking snakes on that motherfucking plane, so he takes some fairly drastic measures.

Oh oh, I forgot to mention, there's an extremely nerdy Snake Expert. His motto is "time is tissue", which M won't stop repeating.

So yeah, Snakes on a Plane. Do y'all really need convincing? This film is AWESOME. Go see it. Take your small impressionable children. It's never too early to learn about motherfucking snakes and how to handle motherfucking extreme survival scenarios. I'm serious.