In which V is forced to ask the question: what fresh hell is this?

So okay, you know how sometimes you get those packets in the mail full of various coupons and special offers? I got one of those recently, and it came with an ad for a particularly horrible collectible doll. Initially I'd just planned to blog about that one horrible doll, but after looking through the company's website, I now realize that there is TOO MUCH HORRIBLENESS to be contained by one post. I feel a deep moral obligation to share the horribleness with others. So I'm going to spread it out for a while and do a Creepy Doll Of The Week.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Olivia.

Presumably, Olivia is "a reminder of God's most precious gift." I have to wonder what that gift is. Could you consider looking like a subhumanoid as being one of God's gifts? I do not know these things. She has been reproduced "down to the tiniest fold and faintest crease in amazingly lifelike GentleTouch™ vinyl." I don't even want to start thinking about the implications there.

Olivia is "skillfully crafted to give her the look and feel of a real baby." This just reinforces my aversion to real babies. I apologize for any trauma caused by viewing Olivia. Really.