So I have this G-Mail account, and it seems to be a magnet for weird spam. By "weird spam" I mean "stuff that could almost pass as bizarre hipster beat poetry." See for yourselves, cool cats.

First up we have a remarkable composition from Tanesha Rosenda. It's called XP PRO, OFFICE 2003 AND ALL AT ONLY $12-60 EACH, WE GIVE U LICENSE similar

sandwich development promised supposedto. beautiful off edge we letters? motor steps a black.
similar rich she teach wife.
music allow love did why whom. music fire whom?
news being promised off immediate side,
mentioned reading how news pride off.

(insert appreciative finger-snapping here)

Next is the profoundly melancholy SAD TO HAVE SHORT D1CCK, BIGGER 2" NOW AT LOW filled, by Lou Wendi.

speaking tying again?
news across immediate next back. bad pride raise fascinate happened thus. immediate pretty find happened evening.
studied again sugar human you here? pretty parents find again development hard.
wife not we young similar wrong. teach evening already wrong.
companion embarrass thats reply.

It's amazing how accurately Lou Wendi captures the nature of mankind's existential struggle.

Let's close out tonight's Mega Bohemian Poetry Slam with a well-crafted piece about longing, written by Monika Dorie. It's called purpose CHEAAP PRIICE C1AALIS, \/1AGGRA, XANNAX, LEVITTRA, VAL1UUM, ULTRAAM, MER1D1A somewhere

money a reference out letters is? across edge black thus across. studied drew filled slow gym we,
wrong across evening light?
suddenly beautiful why parents.
he filled fascinate commit wanted motor? very we corner.
off suddenly corner thus?

Now that's what I'm talking about, Daddy-O. It's just like the title says, 'purpose somewhere'. But where? What happened in the slow gym? Why parents? For what reason did he want that motor? I am moved. I am moved to tears, to agony, moved to suddenly corner thus. If you don't get it, you're such a square.

Later, all you cool cats and kittens. Stay hip.