Phil Mitchell. Be afraid. His 'bruvva' has been lounging in Brazil for years and doing 'SAS' dramas and his Mum has been doing copious adverts while claiming stress has stopped her working, though now she's back wiv a big mafff!. He has been 'doing panto' and living in his camper van but he is back to 'ketchup' on old scores with his nemeses (everyone) starting with Ian 'Squeal' Beale who feints with his Aiki-do that turns into Aiki-don't in the gutter with tomato sauce. A lesson for us all I think! Everyone praise the return of some ridiculous and hopefully entertaining bullying hi-jinks in the tragi-comedy that is...Eastenders!

I apologise for the formatting of this post as V. is so careful to arrange everything properly!

M.