Well. Where to start? It's kind of amazing how one network can go from MEGA EXTREME BRILLIANT TELEVISION to... well... you'll see.

Lost. Wednesday, 9:00, ABC.

M is a huge fan of Lost. A bigger fan than me, but only just slightly. He won't get to see this for a few more days, so out of consideration I'm not going to reveal ANY plot points. I'm kind of hesitant to reveal anything at all, really... this is the kind of show where even the smallest comment can give away big secrets.

So I'll just say, this was well and truly 100% satisfying. M, you have NO IDEA. You're going to be stunned. STUNNED. And there was one bit that had me really creeped out. You won't be disappointed at all.

For everyone else who isn't M: do you watch this show? If so, you're cool. If not, what the hell is wrong with you? You should all be watching Lost, and you should all be watching Special Perverts Unit, and really you should all be watching the original Vegas edition of CSI. Dudes. DUDES.

What you maybe shouldn't be watching, on the other hand...

Invasion. Wednesday, 10:00, ABC.

Yet another sci-fi show, which by my count makes at least three this year (exactly one of which is actually good). In this one, you have a group of characters with complex and nigh-impenetrable family connections.

I mean, okay... you have this couple who are divorced (Ranger Man and Doctor Mariel or Muriel or Meryl, I couldn't make it out). And they have a couple of seriously goofy looking kids. And then they're each remarried (Ranger Man has a Female News Reporter, and Dr. M/M/M has a Sinister Sheriff Man). And THEN on top of that, Sinister Sheriff Man has a Bratty Teen Daughter, and Female Reporter has an Amusing Slacker Brother.

See what I mean about it being complex and nigh-impenetrable? But anyway, as far as the actual plot goes... it's about...

Wait for it...

MORE FRIGGING SEA ALIENS.

Oh, FFS. Sea aliens are lamer than lame. But looks like we're stuck with them. They're trendy this year or something. So anyway, yeah, the sea aliens fall into the ocean during a hurricane (nice timing with that one, ABC), and Doctor Mariel Muriel Meryl winds up getting All Possessed by one of them. It makes her act creepy and robotic. The fatal flaw with this, though, is that she was acting creepy and robotic before she got herself All Possessed.

To complicate matters, it would appear that Sinister Sheriff Man (a) knows about this, (b) set it all up, (c) is part of a complex and nigh-impenetrable government conspiracy, and (d) MAY IN FACT BE ALL POSSESSED HIMSELF.

Way to go, ABC. Give away the whole mystery all at once there. Why the hell should I carry on watching this? To find out who's behind it? To find out what's going on? No way, I already know. They shot their ENTIRE NARRATIVE LOAD in the first hour.

This is incredibly badly written. The acting is on a par with CSI: Miami. There appear to be no twists left to uncover, unless Sinister Sheriff Man is, like, Satan or something (hey now, that would be a pretty good show).

Oh hey, I just hit upon something interesting. It occurred to me that the whole Sinister Sheriff Man Being The Devil had already been done, so I looked it up. And guess what? Both shows were created by the same bloke. Shaun Cassidy, if you can believe that. He must have some serious cop/devil issues.

Wow, that was quite a tangent I went off on. Where was I? Oh yeah, talking smack about Invasion. This show was really bad, but the kind of bad that can provide quite a bit of entertainment. I'm gonna keep watching this one for a while, mainly because I find that life can be enriched by cruelly mocking sub-standard media.

Let's all look forward to tomorrow, when Codename V will be enraptured by CSI. Grissom gets his team back. Yay!