Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Things I am so totally over
In which V marvels at the shelf life of really crap entertainment.

1. Andre 3000
Half of acutely irritating rap duo Outkast. I have no idea what the other fellow's name is, because he isn't constantly all up in the media trying to prove how much of a nonconformist he is. Yes, I get that you like to wear wacky clothes. And I get that you have this desperate need to be photographed in wacky clothes at every available opportunity. What I don't get is why you're still coasting on the popularity of "Hey Ya" after two or three years, or why you seem to think you're a serious actor now. Sorry, Andre 3000, you're becoming a sad media clown...

2. The Black Eyed Peas
This band is notable for having the first protest song for this George W debacle, "Where is the Love". Admittedly, I quite liked "Where is the Love" the first three or four thousand times I heard it. But really, that was their only good song. And now they seem to be constantly all over the radio. Their annoying factor is boosted by about a gazillion percent due to the freak of cosmetic surgery that is Fergie. OMG. If I met this woman on the street, I'd give her a good solid bitch-slapping just on principle. Those eyebrows have been lifted well beyond the threshold of "normal". This woman is allegedly 30, yet manages to look like a 40 year old transvestite. Amazing. Not to mention she peed herself on stage recently. Fucking HILARIOUS.

3. Diddy
Enough said.

4. Movies that are remakes of other films which are totally awesome and without flaw, and so there's no reason to remake them. Ever.
This remake of The Wicker Man, starring Nicolas Cage and Leelee Sobieski. Nicolas fucking Cage, people. I cry myself to sleep at night.

Or this remake of The Omen, starring Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles. JULIA FUCKING STILES, PEOPLE.

5. Posers
This one requires a visual aid. First, observe the Sex Pistols:

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Next, observe Blink-182.

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One of these is a punk band. The other is a bunch of sad pussies. The answer should be pretty evident...

Arrrrgh, our entire society is culturally bankrupt.