Monday, September 19, 2005
Monday nights: there are worse things on!
Welcome to installment two of Codename V's comprehensive guide to the new fall television season. Tonight we have for you two decent shows, which some may find to be enjoyable!

Surface. Monday, 8:00, NBC.

Errm. Yeah. From what I can gather, this is about space aliens who live at the bottom of the sea, and are generally all about killing people. This show jumps around between four or five locations and groups of characters, with each scene lasting about four minutes. This is a pet peeve of mine, and really does not make for a promising start. Best as I can tell, you have four groups: jackass kids, jackass fishermen, secretive jackass military types, and hapless jackass researchers. They all have various encounters with the sea aliens.

Sea aliens, how lame is that? Hello, The Abyss much?

But I digress. Yes, sea aliens. WTF ever. I was not particularly enthused. The fact that all of the characters are jackasses didn't really help much. I'm not going to give this one a ringing endorsement, but I won't give up on it just yet, either. The previews for "coming weeks" (aside: since when do we see previews for 'coming weeks'? Just show me next week and be done with it, damn)...

Anyway, I digress again. The previews for coming weeks (insert dramatic eye rolling here) suggest that this is gonna go all Close Encounters, and that all the people who have experienced the sea aliens will Band Together in Sea Alien Fellowship. It remains to be seen whether or not there will be any sea alien mashed potato sculptures. One can only hope.

CSI: Miami. Monday, 10:00, CBS.

A returning favorite. The thing one must keep in mind whilst watching the Miami branch of the CSI franchise is this: there is no way that this crap is meant to be taken at all seriously. No way. Therefore, one must watch it with the understanding that it is top comedy. David Caruso is in perfect form as Horatio Caine, Hero Of The People. I said HERO OF THE PEOPLE, dammit.

Horatio Cane, HERO OF THE PEOPLE spends about 80% of his time acting as avenger of the common man, and the remaining 20% is spent donning sunglasses in slow-motion and staring wistfully off into the distance. No doubt it is at these times that Caine realizes the gravity of his role as HERO OF THE PEOPLE.

Tonight's episode was completely standard. What are the ingredients for a standard episode of CSI Miami? Let's see. Obscure foreign mafia? Check. Low-income woman in peril? Check. Snotty rich white woman? Check. Moralistic judgment against everyone except low-income woman in peril? Check.

Brilliantly funny! Admittedly I missed a large section of dialogue in the first bit of this episode, due to loudly crunchy goodness of chips and salsa, but I'm pretty sure I didn't miss out on any important plot developments. That's probably because there never are any. Conclusion: recommended, good for a laugh.

Check back tomorrow for the second episode of Supernatural and what can only be the exceptionally genius season premiere of Law & Order: Special Perverts Unit.