Saturday, July 02, 2005
Deliver me from dumbasses
So tonight I was looking at Demon Busters. Eli and I stumbled across this site years ago, and it's always stuck in my mind because of its insistence that demons strongly dislike hearing midi files of "Oh The Blood Of Jesus". Also, if YOU are annoyed by the midi file, you are probably a demon yourself.

Anyway, the midi file came up in conversation and I decided to see if the old site was still around. It is. And it is very informative. And alarmist. And generally full of shit holiness.

So. Friends, tonight I share with you a list of things that are certainly demonic, homes for demons, things that attract demons, and/or things that will cause you to be possessed by demons yourself. I share this knowledge with you because it's just begging to be mocked I fear for your mortal souls.

Things that will make you have all kinds of demons all up in yourself

Laser Tag
Lawry's Season Salt
Pokemon (I knew it!!)
Ceramic Geese
Wedding Rings
Paper Towels (that's Kitchen Roll for the Brits)
Using The Telephone
Postage Stamps That Have Pictures Of Squids On Them (!?)
Teenagers (obvious)
Captain Ahab
Hairy Armpits On Girls
Having Friends
Drinking The Blood Of Animals (generally not a good idea anyway...)
Barking Like A Dog
Pickled Remains Of Unborn Babies (as if...)
Rubik's Cubes
Disco Lights

It should be noted that I myself am probably a demon, because I think these people are 100% batshit crazy. Fun times.