In which V. carefully analyzes this week's episode of Hit Me Baby, One More Time.

Right, same drill as last week. Again, I found this show to be equal parts impressive and colossal train wreck. Let's have a look.

Round One
Wang Chung sing that Wang Chung song. They look exactly the same as they did 20 years ago (my god, has it been 20 years?). That one guy even still has that weird mushroom-looking hairdo. Great song, but they're not so great live. Leads one to suspect that it may have actually been 20 years since they sang this song.

Sophie B. Hawkins sings "Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover". She also looks exactly the same, right down to the excessively ripped jeans. Another great song, but she really sounds like shit live. Leads one to suspect that she might actually be a crap singer, and just gets mixed real good by some talented producer somewhere.

Cameo sing what is possibly the greatest song of all time, Word Up. Their performance, like the song, was flawless. I defy you to contradict me - you must all acknowledge the awesomeness of Word Up. Because as we all know, it is The Code Word, and no matter where you say it, you know that you'll be heard.

Howard Jones sings "No One Is To Blame". We can't accuse Howard Jones of being a one-hit wonder because he in fact had many hits. And also had impressive hair. Sadly, he is now almost bald. But he's still got a great voice, and his round one performance rocked.

Irene Cara sings that song from Flashdance. She's okay. Looks a bit plastic, as if she drinks Botox for breakfast. Complained that everyone mispronounces her surname. Show host then proceeds to mispronounce her surname for the entire rest of the show. Brilliant.

Round Two
Wang Chung sing... are you all sitting down? Wait for it...

Wang Chung sing "It's Getting Hot In Here" by Nelly. Much like last week's warped performance of "Toxic" by Haddaway, this worked out insanely well and I was thoroughly impressed. If Wang Chung were to have released this as a single instead of Nelly, I would not hate it. I do so hate that song, but not as much as I hate that song that goes "now urrybody in da club get tips". But I digress.

Sophie B. Hawkins sings "100 Years" by Five For Fighting. It's a decent song when they do it, although perhaps a bit too sentimental for my tastes. She sounds like crap again. I completely lost interest after about ten seconds.

Cameo sing "1985" by Bowling For Soup. I love that song. I love Cameo (well, Word Up, anyway). But Cameo + 1985 = mediocrity. A funk band just cannot cover contemporary pop-punk. However: Cameo wore some large, flamboyant red top hats. That takes balls. Good for you, Cameo, for having balls.

Howard Jones sings "White Flag" by Dido. Lovely, simply lovely. I'd have voted for this one.

Irene Cara sings... um... some song by a person called Anastasia. I have never heard of this person and the song was complete shit. She had a full band with her, that she was calling 'Hot Caramel' because her surname is Cara, and you pronounce it like 'caramel' and maybe now people will get it right.

Irene Cara wins. Show host mis-pronounces her name a few more times. I am sure this was deliberate. So, two weeks in a row, the least impressive act wins. I think this is staged.

But I have to watch next week, cos Glass Tiger is on, and I bought their album back when I was 11.