Thursday, June 30, 2005
In which V. lists a few small and petty things which somehow manage to piss her off pretty consistently.

1. The BP station near my house recently renamed its little convenience store "Kangaroo". Okay, fine. I don't see the logic in this, but fine. Whatever. The thing that annoys me is that they renamed the car wash "Washaroo". Good god, that's just stupid.

2. You know that song, "Don't Disturb This Groove"? I have kind of a love-hate thing with that song, and this week the pendulum swings towards 'hate'.

3. When they bleep out bad words on the radio or television. As if we don't all know what is being said anyway. Even worse, when they dub over words on television with milder epithets in an obviously different voice. Example: in Repo Man, the word 'motherfucker' was rather infamously changed to 'melon farmer'. Sigh.

4. Oprah, sweetie... the shop was CLOSED. Shut up about it already.

5. When Dawson's Creek is pre-empted in favor of a day-long marathon of The Real Gilligan's Island. Now, if they'd pre-empt it in favor of a second season of Outback Jack, that might be a different story.

6. Speaking of Dawson's Creek, Katie Holmes has really been getting on my nerves lately. It's not the whole TomKat thing. To be honest, I begin to suspect that those crazy kids might actually be in love. And might actually literally be crazy. But I digress. No, what pisses me off about Katie Holmes is, she just can't act. I watch Dawson every morning (for two hours, and yes, I do have a life as well as a modicum of good taste) and Katie Holmes appears to have some sort of palsy throughout. Whenever she speaks, she nods her head aggressively, and blinks about four hundred times. She does this in films as well, and I wanted to bitch-slap her hard for the ten minutes of actual screentime she had in Batman Begins.

7. Why do people talk smack about Lindsay Lohan? Or Nicole Richie for that matter. There's this maddening double-standard that really pisses me off... women in this country are crucified for being even five pounds overweight. And we have such a warped and skewed concept of "overweight" that Renee Zellweger was treated like an obese martyr for gaining 30 pounds to play Bridget Jones. That's not fat, kids. That's normal. But then, when these girls bow to pressure and lose weight, they're crucified for being "too thin" and accused of having eating disorders. Where's the middle ground? What the hell are we girls supposed to think? It's bad to be fat. No, no, it's bad to be too thin. Where's the line?! Note to media: LAY THE FUCK OFF, JESUS CHRIST. Mellon farmers.

8. Don'tcha hate it when it's a hot day and you drive through sonic for a milkshake and they bring it out to you and then you're stuck in traffic and it's bloody sweltering and all you want is a sip of your sweet sweet frozen beverage, but it's too thick to come through the straw?

Okay, that's more than enough negativity for one afternoon.